When I'm Gone
by BrokenInfinty-City'sArmageddon
Summary: A song fic off of "When I'm Gone" by 3 Doors Down. James is going to war...waht will happen? I'm bad @ summeries so excuse the lack of..."grab" this has to it.


When I'm Gone  
  
A/N and/or Disclaimer: Ok, I don't own J/J or M and I don't own the song either. ((Although I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really wish I did!!!)) But anyway. I really love this song, and I was reading all this Song-Fics so I put 2 & 2 together and well.here ya go.  
  
P.S. - This is my very 1st song fic, so please dun flame.  
  
Prologue: James kissed Jessie fondly on the forehead. He looked down at her, although only from a few inches, and grasped the hand that had the ring he'd given her on it. He gave it a small squeeze and smiled sadly.  
  
Jessie looked up at his sad smile, tears running down her face. She studied his camouflage uniform. He looked perfect in it, as he always did. However, just this once, she wished it didn't suit him. She wished he wouldn't have to leave. She wished she could stop him.  
  
But she knew that she couldn't. His eyes told her so, they told her everything. "Jessie, please don't worry. I promised I'd be back, I won't break that promise." Once again, he grabbed her hand tightly. He brushed the ring on her finger lightly with his thumb. "When I asked you to marry me, I ment it. This ring has only furthered my promise to you. And when I come back, we can be married. Things will be perfect.just like we always dreamed."  
  
Now they both smiled sadly, tears running freely down both their faces. Eyes locked, they stared into each other's soul. Both of them had a hint of fear, but it wouldn't stop them. They would have to brave; for each other's sake.  
  
"Yo! James, get your ass over here! We're about to leave!" called one of James' buddies.  
  
"I have to go now Jessie." He kissed her one last time, never, ever wanting to let go. As they pulled away they saw each other's eyes again, a bit more hope was there this time.  
  
He walked over to his friends, and as he boarded the plane, he turned, sadly to look at Jessie. She stood there, watching him. She seemed so lonely, so forlorn. "I'm coming back." James told himself. "I have to."  
  
Jessie watched as his plane took off and she watched until it couldn't be seen anymore. It was then, and only then, that she cried.  
  
***  
  
James lay on his bunk looking at a small picture of Jessie and Meowth. He smiled slightly, remembering all those good times. His bunkmate, from below, spoke up. "Dreaming again, eh James?" his friend laughed. "You know James.I don't mean to bring a downpour on all of this, but do you realize that there's a hefty chance that we're gonna die out there?"  
  
James sighed, he hated considering that possibility. "Yeah, yeah I know. But I have to get home, I just have to.the woman I love.not only that, she's also my best and only friend, is waiting for me."  
  
His friend didn't respond. James began to think.why don't I ever show or tell Jessie anything about my darker side? He sighed, knowing that he would be sent out into his first real battle tomorrow, put the picture into his pocket, and slept.  
  
***  
  
There's another world inside of me  
  
That you may never see  
  
There's secrets in this life  
  
That I can't hide  
  
Somewhere in this darkness  
  
There's a light that I can't find  
  
Maybe it's too far away...  
  
Maybe I'm just blind...  
The sound was immense. He fired repetitively, actually praying that he wasn't killing anyone. He didn't want to ruin anyone's life anymore then he wanted his own to come crashing to an end. Bullets flew past him, miraculously missing him. "I've got to hold onto that light.If I can keep it alive, I can stay alive." It was just after that, that one of his newest best friends in this war, his bunkmate, who was next to him now in this battle of life and death, was hit. It was a direct hit, into his chest. And it was in that moment, for James, that the light went out.  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
  
Everything I am and everything in me  
  
I'll also be the one you wanted me to be  
  
I'd never let you down  
  
Even if I could  
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
I won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone  
  
Love me when I'm gone...  
He couldn't look down at his friend, his brain wouldn't let him and his heart didn't want to see that sight. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes holding in the pain. He had to think of Jessie. She loved, even when he wasn't there to hold her. Even when he was out here, fighting an endless fight, she loved him. And it was for her sake, that he lived.  
  
He thought of all the things he'd never told her, but wanted to so badly. It was right then and there, at the side of his dead friend, he promised that as soon as he was back, she would know everything. Because even though she could read his soul so skillfully, there were things about him, that no one knew.  
  
And even as he held everything about him, his memories, his present, his memories of his Jessie, his future with Jessie the fight he was fighting had already stolen a part of him, and he knew he would never get it back.  
When your education x-ray  
  
Can not see under my skin  
  
I won't tell you a damn thing  
  
That I could not tell my friends  
  
Roaming through this darkness  
  
I'm alive but I'm alone  
  
Part of me is fighting this  
  
But part of me is gone  
He felt his strength increase somehow. Through all that was going on around him, he could feel his soul glowing. Yes, he knew the bullet had entered him, but he felt no pain. Nothing could stop him now. It seemed like slow monition as he fell backward. He hit his head, sharply on a rock. As he blacked out, not all of it went black. Even though he'd blacked out, a tiny speck of light remained within sight the entire time. ".Jessie." he mumbled as some blurred images appeared before his face.  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
  
Everything I am and everything in me  
  
I'll also be the one you wanted me to be  
  
I'd never let you down  
  
Even if I could  
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
I won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone  
  
Love me when I'm gone  
  
"J-James?!" Jessie jerked her tear stained face up. She sat on the end of his hospital bed. James had been treated from his wounds, and was shipped back home to America and was to remain hospitalized. However, he had never regained consciousness. It was Jessie who sat there now on the end of his bed, crying after having just been told that he would die within a few hours if he didn't wake up. The odds were slim and she'd been told not to get her hopes up but she'd kept faith and held to it, keeping the light insight. And now, there he was.  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
And love me when I'm gone  
  
Everything I am and everything in me  
  
I'll also be the one you wanted me to be  
  
I'd never let you down  
  
Even if I could  
  
I'd give up everything  
  
If only for your good  
  
So hold me when I'm here  
  
Love me when I'm wrong  
  
Hold me when I'm scared  
  
I won't always be there  
  
So love me when I'm gone  
  
Love me when I'm gone...  
  
The images focused and suddenly, he remembered it all. The little light that had kept him alive, and even though he'd awoken, the light was still there. She was sitting on the edge of his bed. It was Jessie. "J- Jess.y-you saved me." He said, although meekly, he wasn't totally healed yet. But neither of them cared, he was alive and that was all that mattered.  
  
"No James, you saved me."  
  
James would never know that it was his faith in her that gave her the strength to believe in him, thus keeping her alive ((Spiritually speaking)). And Jessie would never know that her faith would be the little light guiding James towards home.  
  
From that moment on, neither of them would ever have to doubt the other again because they both fought a war, for each other. James fought bravely on the battlefield and Jessie, fought a harsh emotional battle with herself, keeping her faith, and thus keeping James alive. Each of them fought an equally horrible battle. For whether man or woman, good or bad, private or four-star general, a war is a war. No matter what side you're on. 


End file.
